The Kids Speak Out

"Tweens"

I saw the word "Tweens" and I thought what in the world is that.  This is the name that "professionals" have given to kids - ages 8 to 12.  Tweens are showing behaviors that are typically known for teenagers.

Some of the "Tweens" are going out on dates (ages 8-12); demanding parents buy them cell phones and IPods.  They listen to pop music which is often sexually charged, participate in mature related video games and log in many, many minutes on MySpace.  Young girls are wearing makeup younger and some of the clothes are inappropriate for their age.

Some studies demonstrate that girls are going through puberty earlier.  The medical profession seems to think it is the result of better nutrition.  The doctors have even lowered the limits of early breast development to first or second grade.

I only report this because there are many parents who are working in their chosen field and do not have time to read everything important to raising kids.  Watch your kids and try to NOT let them grow up to fast.  You don't think the marketers in the retail business don't know the opportunity to promote their products geared toward the "Tweens".  Of course, they do.  They estimate that an additional $170 BILLION will be spent by the "Tweens", if they market directly to them.

Kids Lie

Why do kids lie?  They are NOT taught to lie - it comes naturally to them....just like us adults, uh?

It is a common thing and we should not be alarmed.  Kids tell lies for the same reasons adults do:  1) to escape punishment 2) to make a good impression and/or 3) to spare someone's feelings.

Kids, of course, are not like we adults; merely asking kids to promise to tell the truth makes a big impression on them.  It reminds kids the importance of not telling lies.  Kids want to be good.

Usually parents, teachers and the whole community raises to the opportunity to teach kids everything they need to know while growing up.  Unfortuately, this is a behavior that has to be UN-TAUGHT.  Instead of teaching, we are trying to undo a behavior that just comes naturally.  And it is amazing to me that I truly understand the 3 reasons kids give for telling a lie.  My parents may have over-taught because I just can't stand it when I know an adult is telling me a lie - usually I move on feeling like I could never trust that particular person.

Well, as always, let's just keep on doing the best we can.

Listening to the kids

If you ask kids what one of their major problems is they will tell you: "getting people to listen to me when I speak".   This is not just your "run of the mill" listening like we adults listen to our spouse, clergy on Sunday morning, your employer and your friends - it seems to be a different kind of listening to kids.

I will explain it the best way that a kid explained it to me.  A little girl was in the kitchen when her mom was preparing the family dinner.  The little girl was talking to her mom and sensing her mom was not listening to her - she said, "Mom, listen to me".  The mom explained "I am, honey".  The little girl said "No, you are not - I want you to listen to me with your eyes.".

Get it?  When kids want to talk to you, they want you to take the time to look into their eyes so they have your abiding attention.  Let me say, I have known some kids who do not know "when to stop talking" - they just go on and on.  So, when the kids in your life takes the time to talk to you and if you sense it is important to the kids take the time to "listen to them with your eyes."

Kids and Money

Are you worried about your kids learning about money?  Kids start learning how to count money in the second grade and they have always known how to spend money!  The kids and I have discovered a fabulous software that teaches kids about money.

Kids: "Builders" or "Destroyers"

Do you recognize if you are raising your kid(s) to be our future "builders" or "destroyers"?  Kids give off clues what they are developing into by their actions, opinions and their thoughts - is anyone really listening?  I don't mean just the parents - how about you grandparents, aunts, uncles, clergy and teachers - are you listening for the clues?

In the movie "South Pacific" there is a song titled "You've Got To Be Taught"   Kids are taught (or not taught) to be a builder or a destroyer.  I do not mean that we adults set out to teach our kids the "builder/destroyer" concept.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods (and all kids have them) of getting angry, yelling, being a bully, saying cruel things to each other and their parents, etc.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods, that the kids learn so well to use. are performed and we adults say "Oh, it's their age - they will outgrow it."