The Kids Speak Out

Kids and Independence

How much independence do you, as parents, give your kids daily?  Because of our fear that something or someone may hurt our kids we have restricted our kids from finding some independence.

We are talking about kids when they reach the age of 10 years old or so.  Do your kids ever walk to school (within reason distance); ride their bicycle around the neighborhood or how about walking to a friend’s house to play without adult supervision? 

Parents are scared and reluctant to let their kids outside on their own because of traffic dangers, kidnapping and/or being molested.  At times the parents just want to spend extra time with their kids and not let them out on their own.

Kids who have experienced independent mobility interact more with other children and their environments.  Kids who are dependent upon adult supervision/protection could "negatively influence children's emotional, social and cognitive development," and may lead to more sedentary behaviors, putting them at risk of obesity and diabetes.

Parents are more likely to drive their kids to where they have to go.  It is faster and it is safer.  Many kids are scared to go outside of their house without an adult being with them. The kids are uncomfortable with outside forces that “could” happen to them if they are alone.

If parents do not feel as if they can turn their kid loose outside by themselves, then do something together as a family.  However, let the kids run ahead of you to develop their independence or stay behind you as you walk or play outside.  Teach your kids about traffic; approaching strangers and what to do and not do; loan your kids your cell phone when they are outside so they can call you if an emergency comes up and give them a watch and deadline on when to come back home.  Try some drills in 15 minute intervals and then you can extend the minutes outside when the kids understand the rules.  If they disobey the rules, then take minutes away from them until they obey the rules. 

Our kids have to have fresh air, develop mobile independency; rules to follow and an affirmation that you are here at home waiting for them to come home or if they need help in anyway they can call you.  I encourage all parents to do the responsible thing when your kid reaches the appropriate age to trust.  I want to make it perfectly clear I am NOT talking about small children who are incapable of following rules nor do they have the knowledge of keeping themselves safe.  Be smart parents – know your kid – and when appropriate – let them spread their wings safely.

Kids and Behavior Problems in School

School teachers and school administrators are reporting they are seeing an increase in behavior problems being acted out in threatening ways.  They are beginning to believe it is because there is the absence of physical activities and free, creative time for the kids to express themselves.

 

It is interesting to note that other countries are looking into or have in place a ten

minute for every 40 to 50 minutes of students sitting all day at their desks.  This relates back to the article I wrote this week on Kids Needing Fresh Air:  Kids need recesses to be better students.

 

This is another call for parents to get involved in their kids school PTO and help to work with school administrators in providing a break during the day for your kids and incorporate fresh air for students.  It is vitally important that parents get involved in school systems to volunteer and help in making this happen.

 

 

7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children.

I am honored to have Jill Rapley as our guest author today teaching us the 7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children. "http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com.  Welcome Jill.  

     Do you think it is possible in this day of extreme rebellion, lack of respect, and self-centered “ideals” to still enjoy a loving yet respectful relationship with your children?

     Well that does greatly depend on you as a parent. No, I am not talking about being a perfect parent; none of us have quite reached that characteristic yet. And neither are there perfect children (except yours, of course :)

     We do live in a difficult age for children growing up and their parents trying to guide them. But there are certainly some things parents can do to help point children in the right direction and give them an opportunity to win this race called life.

Kids & Fresh Air

You know I am an advocate of kids getting enough fresh air.  During the school year they are mostly inside breathing stale air like we do working in an office or at home.  There is a new study released emphasizing that kids who have recess at school makes better students.

Classes start at 8:30 or so in the morning and lasting until lunchtime without a break in their schedule.  Even when we drive on trips the rule of the road is for every 50 minutes you drive you need to stop at a rest area, service station or eating break and stretch, stretch, stretch before you get back under the wheel of a car.  Kids learn as more on their breaks having a recess, as they do sitting at their desks and being quiet.  Many problems are solved on the playground with kids by other kids.

Check with your school system to see if they do have recess for the kids for at least once a day, for 20 or more minutes.  Physical activity needs to be a part of a recess.  Kids having recess in their daily schedule behave better in school.

When I pick up my grandson from school and I ask "what did you do today" one of his first responses is we went outside for recess.  It's important to the kids.

Kids and Anger

How do you effectively handle an out-of-control angry kid?  I thought R. Varahharajan wrote a grest article on this subject and is our guest author. 

What is anger? Anger is another form of emotion or feeling experienced by children and adults alike. It ranges from rage to the milder forms of resentment. It's needed with parents to know anger management techniques for children. The children use outbursts of anger for attracting attention to obtaining a desired goal. Interference with feelings or activities of the children may arouse a form of behavior as anger-usually aggressive in nature- expressed by screams, kicks, stamps, sulks, or cries. The temper tantrum represents a display of emotional behavior for the purpose of gaining favour. In an aggressive child, it takes the form of striking, tearing, kicking, and holding the breath.

Unless the child is helped with anger management skills to gain emotional control he is likely to continue the tantrum technique perhaps throughout the entire life. If a child "throws a tantrum" before learned to talk, the parents should understand that the child is actually suffering and needs their help. As a child learns to vocalize and to use language he begins to express anger in less aggressively physical ways, but he may continue his acts of disobedience and physical resistance.

When a little girl is very angry she is likely to say to her mother" I don't like you." To avoid such critical situation, a good knowledge of anger management techniques of children plays a main role for compromise. Causes of anger problems: It is usually caused by infusion of frustration or major depressive disorder. Infant: Physical restraint like tight clothing Child: Toilet training and food taking compulsion

Tips to dealing with anger management: There is no need for separate anger management program. To think of anger control by anger medication is foolish.

1.Needless commands or derogatory remarks that arouse anger should not be dangled before the child. Such words are felt by children as ill treating of their endevours to achieving the goal. It may lead to depression anxiety anger and delusion which are not good for health.

2.Denying for everything should be avoided by the parents. Instead, alternatives may be given. It's quite natural that the children may have anxiety of knowing about and owning new things for them to enjoy. In such occasions, the parents should not deny totally but satisfy them with substitutes

3.Preventing or minimizing the provocations is one of the best ways to deal with anger. Some behaviors may be annoying to the parents as destructive to their welfare. Such behaviors alone can't be accounted for preventing and irritating every activity of the children.

4.Talking with them about their feelings is another of the best of anger management tools to teach the children about how to control their feelings. It would be compromising and consoling to the children if the parents share with their feelings good or bad. The child should be given appropriate anger management help to express their anger in appropriate words as let out technique.

5.The parents should be a model of anger management for kids in controlling and keeping off unnecessary situations to arouse anger as a main concern. Molding the children positively onto their way of expectation is an art to execute by being an example to follow. It's safe to bring up your children as blossoming buds and with desirable habits and you as parents should know the anger management techniques of your children and related matters.