The Kids Speak Out

Helping Kids set 2010 Goals

One of the most valuable exercise we adults can do is to teach kids to set goals and work to achieve goals. Kids see this as a game, so to speak, and enjoy creating their goals. I believe there are about 5 ways to teach kids how to set and achieve their goals. You may come up with additional ways.

1) Start kids about the age of 7 and above. Kids younger than 7 should not be bothered with setting goals - let them play and be creative. When kids start to school and learn about meeting homework deadlines; discipline getting up in morning and getting themselves ready for school before the bus comes, etc is a good time to start teaching about goals and deadlines. They understand better because they experience some "routine" scheduling.

2) Make a list of things kids are involved with; such as: playing the piano; getting on honor roll at school; keeping their room clean; being involved in sport activities; attending to their healthy bodies, etc. It is important to only set goals for a 12 month length of time. Don't go into the 3-5-10 year goal setting. I even find that hard for me to figure out and achieve.

3) Make goals reasonable for their age group. A friendly reminder: this is NOT your goals for your kids - this is their goals for themselves. Try not to influence too much. Let it be simple and achievable.

4) Write the goals down and tape them to their bathroom mirror. For the younger kids, decorate with pictures/scrapbook things to make the goal setting attractive to them. When they achieve one of their goals, be sure to celebrate with them.

5) Ask them how they are doing to achieve their goals during the year. You are to be their personal coach and ask them throughout the year "how are you doing on your goals?" If they need to adjust one of their goals, let them do so. Try your best to keep them from being discouraged.

It is a gift you can give to your kids and teaching them a valuable lesson for their future life.

The Family Dinner Table

I can remember growing up in a family of 4 kids and 2 parents that meal time around the kitchen table was a fun event.  We talked and laughed; we told stories of our day and always started the meal with a prayer.  We kids looked forward to spending time with mom and dad together in the evening before homework time and bath time.  Now that I am an adult I often wondered why we had assigned seats around the table.  When company came over for dinner and they would sit in the seat that my daddy sat in, we kids would let them know that seat was reserved for daddy.   

I’m afraid today is different if a family has a meal together.  A lot of families eat on a different schedule and there is no sitting down as a family.  I hate to attend dinner invitations where the kids are present.  Not because of the kids, but because of the parents, throughout the whole meal, are saying to their kids:  “eat that all up” “get your elbows off the table” “don’t do this and don’t do that”.  The whole meal was criticism of the kids eating habits.  What a bummer.   

When I invite families over to my house I always separated the kids from their parents.  Kids would eat on card tables and parents at dining room table. Where has the fun gone with families “breaking bread” together?  It got lost somewhere in our society.  I hope some families are still having fun times around the family dining table.

Kids and Funerals

Listening to kids will always pay big benefits to adults!  Kids are very direct in asking questions and we as adults should be prepared to answer no matter how uncomfortable we may feel at the time.

My granddaughter just came back from attending a funeral of her father's uncle.  When she and I were alone she asked me "Grandma, when you die will you invite me to your funeral and can I sit on the front row?"

I said "of course, you are invited and you can sit on the front row.  Will you bring me some beautiful flowers?"  She said "yes I will."  She gave me a kiss on my cheek and walked off to play.

I smiled and thought quietly "Thank You God for our Kids." 

Familes Walking Together

Kids do not have to think about moving their bodies.  Most kids are active all day long.  However, if they are asked “do you want to go for a family walk” usually their answer is “yes”.  Most of the time if you ask teens that question usually their answer is “are you kidding me?”  So capture the moments of family walking when you can without resistance. 

 

Kids are little people with a heart, liver, kidneys, circulation system and their vital organs are growing and stretching …so they need exercise and walking just as much as an adult.  A lot of kids run ahead of their parents so it important to discuss any family rules you have as you walk together. 

 

Neighborhood family walking seems to work the best because kids will wear out and it is important to be close to home.  I have observed a daddy or mommy having to pick up their kids and carry them home because they have worn themselves out.  Did you know that walking enhances everyone’s sleep ability?  One of the benefits in being outside and in the sunshine is that your body thrives on these elements.  It produces a relaxed and peaceful message to our brain and adults and kids look forward to sleeping after exhausting our bodies to a walk.  Some kids prefer to ride their tykes or bikes while parents walk and that is fine.  After all our ultimate goal is to get people of all ages outside walking and being active/moving your body in your exercise of choice, including kids.  It is one benefit that can help with kid obesity, just like adult obesity, so when the family takes a walk together it has healthy benefits for everyone.

 

Do not forget to include your dog in your family walks!  Dogs are considered a vital member of a family and they love their walks with their owner/family. 

 

 

 

Tips on Hiking With Children

Kids love being outside at all times, but particuarly in the summer when they are out of school.  Why not take advantage of this attitude and take your kids for a hike?  I asked one kid how much he would enjoy hiking and his answer was "but, there are not bathrooms and you have to relieve yourself outdoors in the open and I don't like that".  That's a beginning point in answering questions you may have before you take your kids for a hike.  I found an article that I thought answered a lot of questions and got permission to reprint it.

"When I want to do some serious hiking; I mean pushing myself to go at a faster pace, scrambling up mountainsides, down & back up over rolling hills, climbing over & navigating around fallen trees, taking another step every time my leg muscles scream for me to stop; I make sure I'm not taking young children along with me. There's hiking and then there's hiking. Most of you who enjoy a rigorous pace of hiking & backpacking know what I mean. But there's another side to hiking, a side which though is a little bit more laid back, can be fun & fulfilling just the same. It's hiking with children. This article is meant to give just some pointers on hiking with children, and doesn't cover every important aspect of this enjoyable activity. These are just some suggestions when bringing children out for a day hike.

Kids and Pedometers

Last year the YMCA decided to give the kids in their local "after school" program a pedometer to wear for a few days to evaluate how active kids are in their lives.  My grandson was in the program and he turned in his pedometer only to discover that on an average day he walked 4,000 steps.  That surprised me because it seemed he went to school, sat in classes, ate in cafeteria, came home, ate dinner with family; homework and then to bed (with a little computer time built into his schedule).

I learned that a study had conducted to determine if pedometers are a successful way of encouraging young people to get active.

Kids & Their Observation of Being Poor

A friend sent this to me and I am pleased to share it with you!  Don't ever under-estimate the way kids see things because they see things quite differently than the way their parents see things!  Listen to your kids - they see the world in ways that we adults use to see the world.

 

"One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Kids and Independence

How much independence do you, as parents, give your kids daily?  Because of our fear that something or someone may hurt our kids we have restricted our kids from finding some independence.

We are talking about kids when they reach the age of 10 years old or so.  Do your kids ever walk to school (within reason distance); ride their bicycle around the neighborhood or how about walking to a friend’s house to play without adult supervision? 

Parents are scared and reluctant to let their kids outside on their own because of traffic dangers, kidnapping and/or being molested.  At times the parents just want to spend extra time with their kids and not let them out on their own.

Kids who have experienced independent mobility interact more with other children and their environments.  Kids who are dependent upon adult supervision/protection could "negatively influence children's emotional, social and cognitive development," and may lead to more sedentary behaviors, putting them at risk of obesity and diabetes.

Parents are more likely to drive their kids to where they have to go.  It is faster and it is safer.  Many kids are scared to go outside of their house without an adult being with them. The kids are uncomfortable with outside forces that “could” happen to them if they are alone.

If parents do not feel as if they can turn their kid loose outside by themselves, then do something together as a family.  However, let the kids run ahead of you to develop their independence or stay behind you as you walk or play outside.  Teach your kids about traffic; approaching strangers and what to do and not do; loan your kids your cell phone when they are outside so they can call you if an emergency comes up and give them a watch and deadline on when to come back home.  Try some drills in 15 minute intervals and then you can extend the minutes outside when the kids understand the rules.  If they disobey the rules, then take minutes away from them until they obey the rules. 

Our kids have to have fresh air, develop mobile independency; rules to follow and an affirmation that you are here at home waiting for them to come home or if they need help in anyway they can call you.  I encourage all parents to do the responsible thing when your kid reaches the appropriate age to trust.  I want to make it perfectly clear I am NOT talking about small children who are incapable of following rules nor do they have the knowledge of keeping themselves safe.  Be smart parents – know your kid – and when appropriate – let them spread their wings safely.

Kids and Behavior Problems in School

School teachers and school administrators are reporting they are seeing an increase in behavior problems being acted out in threatening ways.  They are beginning to believe it is because there is the absence of physical activities and free, creative time for the kids to express themselves.

 

It is interesting to note that other countries are looking into or have in place a ten

minute for every 40 to 50 minutes of students sitting all day at their desks.  This relates back to the article I wrote this week on Kids Needing Fresh Air:  Kids need recesses to be better students.

 

This is another call for parents to get involved in their kids school PTO and help to work with school administrators in providing a break during the day for your kids and incorporate fresh air for students.  It is vitally important that parents get involved in school systems to volunteer and help in making this happen.

 

 

7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children.

I am honored to have Jill Rapley as our guest author today teaching us the 7 Steps to Creating Good Relationships with Your Children. "http://www.successfulrelationshipsblog.com.  Welcome Jill.  

     Do you think it is possible in this day of extreme rebellion, lack of respect, and self-centered “ideals” to still enjoy a loving yet respectful relationship with your children?

     Well that does greatly depend on you as a parent. No, I am not talking about being a perfect parent; none of us have quite reached that characteristic yet. And neither are there perfect children (except yours, of course :)

     We do live in a difficult age for children growing up and their parents trying to guide them. But there are certainly some things parents can do to help point children in the right direction and give them an opportunity to win this race called life.

Kids & Fresh Air

You know I am an advocate of kids getting enough fresh air.  During the school year they are mostly inside breathing stale air like we do working in an office or at home.  There is a new study released emphasizing that kids who have recess at school makes better students.

Classes start at 8:30 or so in the morning and lasting until lunchtime without a break in their schedule.  Even when we drive on trips the rule of the road is for every 50 minutes you drive you need to stop at a rest area, service station or eating break and stretch, stretch, stretch before you get back under the wheel of a car.  Kids learn as more on their breaks having a recess, as they do sitting at their desks and being quiet.  Many problems are solved on the playground with kids by other kids.

Check with your school system to see if they do have recess for the kids for at least once a day, for 20 or more minutes.  Physical activity needs to be a part of a recess.  Kids having recess in their daily schedule behave better in school.

When I pick up my grandson from school and I ask "what did you do today" one of his first responses is we went outside for recess.  It's important to the kids.